MotherMother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
"I don't trust those Mexicans."
"You don't know if they're all Mexicans... and why not?"
"They can't speak English. Who knows what they're saying?"
"What are they going to do? Throw spicy meat at us?"
"Watch your smart-ass mouth... they'll probably bring their families here and take up all the jobs, too. You know, they won't hire white people."
"...Because it's a Hispanic restaurant. For Hispanic food. Made by Hispanics."
"No shit, smart-ass, but that doesn't mean they can't hire some poor white kids from the high school."
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
"Mom, I'm trying to submit a poem to this contest..."
"Oh! Oh! A contest? You can submit one of mine--"
"No, I'm supposed to write it. I have some here..."
"....What? These? No, you can't submit these. You can't understand them. You won't win."
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
"Want to see my new pictures?"
"They're good, I
Why I'm UndateableI'm getting a college education.
It will get me a stable, high-paying job.
I'm willing to commit to you for the rest of my life.
I have a fine appreciation of art and music.
I go to church every Sunday.
I cook soup at the homeless shelter.
I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs.
I have a completely clean rap sheet.
I treat my friends and family very well.
I have a keen sense of humor.
I'm quite handsome.
And yes, I'm very much in love with you.
"But I don't want to date you," she says to me,
"Because you're attracted to men, too."